Happy New Year!
Day six of the new year and I haven’t been contemplating blogging for a long time, yet it’s time. The holidays were mostly spent with my boyfriend and my family and as for my new years I started it with my family and ended it with my boyfriend as well as some close friends.
Christmas with my family and boyfriend.
I’ve never had the perfect NYE in the way a ”party-planner lover” wants it and this year I really wanted to start the year in a special way seeing as my 2020 will be special but very, very rough (more on that later).
Seeing as I had the usual NYE-dinner with my parents I used to have when I was 13 and then a sober get-together with very few friends snacking and having a game night 2 hours ’til midnight I wouldn’t call it a ”party-planer lover’s” dream, but it was ok.
It’s been a while since I last wrote, but as life has taken a huge turn I’ve felt the need to write and release both good and bad feelings as well as my creative energy.
My life is not what it was a year ago, half a year ago or even three months ago. It has changed drastically and I’m scared, angry and hurt. I don’t know if I can talk about it, because other people are involved and for the time being I’m pretty sure I should be quite. Yet my head is exploding with this and regular stuff, like I talk to people I’m close with about the really hard stuff but when I do, I don’t have time to talk about the mediocre things or even the fun things in my life, because there is no room.
Other than this gigantic thing that causes me and everyone around me stress to its’ fullest – I love my life. Other than this huge inconvenience that makes me question every decision I’ve ever made in my entire life – I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. And I’m happy for that, because without it – I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t fight as hard. I would probably have given up by now.
So other than this huge block of stone in my chest that grates my lungs as I try to breath, I am so unbelievably happy, hopeful and at peace and I want you to know that when you’re in a low there’s still things to be happy about – and wether how low you go – they’re still there. To prove it, I will write about those things. Appreciation is important. Positivity is key. Life is tough but sometimes we need to stop and smell the roses. I will try to live my 2020 with those words in mind, because life is not a destination. Life is now.
I wish everyone a positive mindset through 2020 and to find happiness in whatever it may bring you.